


Bad Timing--Repost from 2012

by TheLookingGlass_7



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-23
Updated: 2012-03-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 01:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9411179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLookingGlass_7/pseuds/TheLookingGlass_7





	1. Kentucky

Date: August 12, 2011

Driving around her car aimlessly into the night, Mercedes Jones was sure of two things: 1. She would never fully get over Sam Evans, and 2. She needed time to pretend to go back to normal, so when Shane asked her out, she knew she had to get as far away from him as humanly possible.

There was nothing wrong with Shane—she actually liked spending time with him the past week. Meeting him in church was a nice distraction from the hopelessness she felt at Sam's departure. Besides, it had been a month since Sam left, and she knew she would have to get out of her shell and go back to living soon—Mercedes was starting her senior year.

She had to let Sam think the decision to break up was amicable. She couldn't tell him that wanted nothing more than to hold on to him and she couldn't be with anyone else. Mercedes was being selfish and she knew it, so she plastered the biggest fake smile that she could, congratulated Sam's family and threw a going away party for the Evans. She learned a long time ago how to cut off her emotions, and if leaving Lima meant a better opportunity for the Evans she was going to smile through all the pain and heartache she felt.

With her heart and head pounding, Mercedes continued driving, recalling how she left Shane standing outside of the Lima Bean with a broken and confused look etched on his face, as she headed into parts unknown. She knew she had hurt his feelings, especially since he confided in her his fear of rejection. But she had only known him a week, and she knew she didn't want to lead Shane on when she was still (and would possibly always be) heartbroken. Mercedes looked up, saw the leaving Lima, Ohio sign and kept going. She was going to keep going for as long as it took to clear her head.

Subconsciously, she knew where she was driving to—even when she was afraid to say it out loud. She needed to see him—she needed to know if they should fight for each other if he thought their relationship was as life-changing for him as it was for her.

Taking a deep calming breath with her heart racing and head pounding, Mercedes checked the crumpled paper in her hands. It held the address Sam gave her before he left. She sighed and put the paper back in her dashboard—she didn't need verification, she memorized his new address within seconds of receiving it. She sat outside the residence for a few minutes, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door. It was quite likely Sam wasn't home, which she would wait until she saw him again. Since she was more than likely going to be in BIG trouble when she got back, she wanted to make sure it was worthwhile.

Mercedes slowly walked up to the porch after admiring the house in front of her. She was so proud of what the Evans had accomplished as was genuinely happy for them. She knew she was stalling, so taking a deep breath, she began her painstakingly slow walk towards the front door.

She knocked at the door and fidgeted nervously having the overwhelming need to turn around and drive away, but she didn't. She stood there in agony waiting for someone to answer. Wiping her hands on her jeans, Mercedes took a deep breath and willed her heartbeat to slow. A minute went by when she saw Sam answer the door, and it took all of her strength to restrain herself from kissing him senseless.

He was taller, his hair slightly darker, but he was still the goofy boy that made her stomach flutter and cheeks hurt from smiling. 

He looked genuinely shocked to see her standing on his porch. He shut the door behind himself and stood outside. A few moments passed as she stared at her twiddling thumbs and he smiled at her before greeting her. "Bambi, I missed you."

"I missed you too Sam," she said as they hugged each other, not wanting to let go.

"What are you doing here? Is everything okay," he asked. Sam pulled back looking over her, making sure she wasn't hurt. 

"Yeah, everything is fine," she replied furrowing her brows. "I was just driving and I ended up here." Mercedes failed to notice the tear falling down her cheek.

"Everything is fine but you drove four hours and you're crying? Please sit," he said as he sat on the porch steps and offered her the seat next to his.

She sat and gazed into his eyes for a minute. "I didn't know it would be this hard," she said barely audible. "I feel like everything around me has changed and I am fighting like hell for it to go back to how it was. I just-I'm happy for you, for your family I am. But I, I didn't know it would hurt this much, to be without you. I'm sorry. I know I'm not making any sense. I don't mean to be selfish. I just miss you so much."

"I miss you, too" he said, as he held her cradling her head in his hands.

"I still love you," she said looking in his eyes.

"I still love you too Bambi," he said holding her closer.

He was so lost in her—her touch, her scent, that he didn't hear the door swing open.

"Hey Sammy," the voice interrupted taking in the scene, but not acknowledging Mercedes. "If you don't come back inside the popcorn's going to get cold."

Mercedes turned to look at the girl in the doorway. She was tall thin and blonde, everything Mercedes wasn't, everything Mercedes would never be. Mercedes' eyes darted between the guilty look on Sam's face and the confused look on the girl's as realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

"You're on a date?" She whispered to Sam.

"Yes," Sam replied sheepishly, with a ducked head and ruddy cheeks.

"Is she your girlfriend," Mercedes asked him.

"Mercedes, I didn't think I would ever see you again. I-I-I was trying to get over you," he said stammering.

"IS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND," Mercedes screamed at him.

He flinched at her anger before dejectedly nodding his head.

She saw the bewildered look on the girl's face and calmly stood to address her. "I'm so sorry for interrupting your evening…"

"Whitney," the girl said.

"Whitney," Mercedes repeated. It was nice to meet you. I hope you have a lovely evening with your boyfriend."

And with that she spun on her heels to her car, ignoring Sam calling her name, ignoring Sam's taps on her door, and ignoring Sam's pathetic apologies. She sped off into the direction of Lima watching Sam's slumped figure from her rearview mirror diminish as she left Kentucky.

She wasn't going to waste her life on a one-sided love, she was going to follow Sam's lead and find someone else. Shane was sweet, kind, ambitious, and successful. Her initial reticence laid in the fact that he wasn't Sam. She realized not Sam might be exactly what she needed. She made haste to get home. Driving towards Lima, Ohio Mercedes Jones was sure of two things: 1. What she and Sam had, no matter how great it was, was a summer fling and, 2. Sam officially gave her his blessing to move on.


	2. University of Virginia

Date: October 22, 2011  
Location: University of Virginia Campus, Charlottesville, VA

Standing outside of the academic village at the University of Virginia, Mercedes felt like she could breathe for the first time in a long time. She finally got five minutes to herself as her mother and father went to get water from the bookstore and Shane went back to the car to get his phone. She loved her family and boyfriend but they could be a little overbearing. Her father and Shane were dead set against her attending a school so far from home, but that was its greatest appeal to her. She wanted to go to a place she could make her own. She didn't want to follow Shane to the University of Ohio, and when she got there she didn't want to be known as Shane's girlfriend or Maurice's sister—she wanted to be known simply as Mercedes. She was excited about the prospect of getting out of Lima, Ohio and starting her life. For years she felt like she was living in someone's shadow. College seemed to be the place where she could just be her and that would be enough.

The whole ride down, her father would make snide comments about the distance, "Oh baby girl, you got to make sure you have an emergency kit, since you're going to be so far away from home." "Mercedes seven hours might as well be seven years, at least your brother and Shane can watch over you at Ohio State" "Alumni discount at Ohio State, no discount in Virginia" After about three hours of her father's comments, she slid on her iPod and fell asleep on Shane's shoulder.

Although Shane wasn't excited about the prospect of her not being in Ohio, he supported her. It was his razor sharp focus after all that made her consider going to the University of Virginia. Seeing his passion for his future made her think about hers. She settled on Education Policy, namely focusing on fighting for Arts Education in schools. Music was a refuge to her and she wanted to be in a position to fight for music education for the little child that couldn't. Doing some research, she found the University of Virginia had a great school of Policy, which had a solid Educational Policy strain with professors having connections to internships and most graduates finding jobs within 6 months of graduating. She also liked how close the campus was to D.C. and its access to non-profit organizations and government offices there.

So she stood in the crisp fall air taking in the sight. In a few months, she could possibly be walking this path rushing to class, or heading to the library. She could see herself sitting outside on afternoons like these lost in a book. She could see herself grabbing coffee in the café after all-nighters to prepare for midterms and finals. Something about the campus was welcoming, and she felt like being here fit. Unbeknownst to her parents and Shane, she set up a meeting with the admissions counselor and had all her materials ready to hand deliver her application.

Mercedes looked every bit out of place staring at the campus map and mumbling to herself. She was so lost in the map and the buildings that she didn't realize she bumped into someone. She also didn't see the two hands that tried to steady her so she didn't fall.

"Oh I'm so sorry," Mercedes said looking up for the first time.

"Are you okay miss?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I wasn't really paying attention. Did I hurt you?"

"No, I'm okay. But I'm glad you ran into me. My name's Drew," the handsome boy said taking her hand. "Are you here for the open house?"

"I am," she said enthusiastically, "are you?"

"Yeah, I'm here with my boy. I sure hope to see you here next year beautiful," Drew said grabbing her hand. "Oh here he is now," he said pointing to someone behind her.

Without warning, someone grabbed her from behind pulling her into a hug and swung her around.

Mercedes squealed as she was being put back into the ground.

"Bambi," Sam said, genuinely happy to see her.

For a moment Mercedes let herself get caught up in the moment, echoing his excitement with a fierce hug of her own, before tensing and politely pulling out of the embrace. She was so upset her body betrayed her, falling into its natural reaction of seeing Sam. It took all of her strength not to grab his face and kiss him senseless. She hoped she recovered gracefully.

"Hey Sam," Mercedes replied tersely.

"Bambi? Whoa you're Mercedes," Drew said with a grin, amused by their interaction. "It's nice to finally put a face to a name. With the way this guy talks about you, I feel like I know everything about you."

Drew laughed at the way Sam rubbed his neck, a clear indicator of his embarrassment. Not wanting to add to Sam's torture, Drew politely excused himself.

"So that was Memphis Drew," Mercedes asked breaking the silence…"charming."

"Yeah. We planned on visiting this school the year before I went to Lima. A few scouts were watching me play and one of them was from here. I figured I should check out the school since it's likely I may be going here. How about you Bambi, are you planning on coming here too?"

"Wow Sam that's really great. Congratulations. I'm not sure yet. This is one of the five schools I applied to."

"Well I hope to see you here next year," Sam said earnestly. "Listen, I'm so sorry about what happened in Kentucky. I wish I can take it back, because the truth is—"

"Hey baby, Shane's booming voice said. "Your parents are looking for you. The tour's about to start in a minute."

Sam tensed up when he heard that man call her baby. In his mind, they only belonged to each other. Since they admitted they sill loved each other, Sam knew they would always hold each other hearts. Sam's heart broke into a million pieces when he saw that 1000-watt smile she gave that man. He felt like he was watching her drive away from him again. Most of all he hated how he brought this on himself—trying to force himself to move on with someone when he wasn't ready, when he'd never be ready.

"I'm sorry Sam. I have to go before my parents send a search party. Give my best to your family," Mercedes said while grabbing Shane's hand and heading towards her parents.  
And with that, she was gone. Sam let out a ragged breath as he watched her walk away from him again.

Neither wanted to acknowledge that the reason it was hard to see each other again was that they weren't supposed to be apart. It felt like they crammed a lifetime's worth of love, support, and adoration in 6 weeks. To survive, Mercedes tried to forget about the memories of the summer. She tried to replace the picnics in the park, the star-gazing, and the talks at the lake with the last memory she had of him slumped in the middle of the street while she drove away. Sam had tried to erase every kiss, hug, gaze, and caress with another person. He had limited dating experience and thought if he found someone quickly, the pain of losing Mercedes would go away faster. Truth be told, he still loved her and seeing her again with someone else was like getting stabbed in the heart.

Sam didn't know what to think when he saw her. She was so beautiful, he couldn't believe she was ever his, if only for a little while. When she found out he may be accepted, he thought he saw a hopeful glint in her eye, he know he had one in his. But her boyfriend ruined everything, 'actually her ex-boyfriend ruined everything' Sam chastised, kicking himself for their last conversation. Seeing her in Kentucky definitely sobered him up. He stopped looking for someone else and tried to focus on anything else. He vowed if he ever saw her again he would let her know exactly how he felt, how he still loved her, but seeing her happily walk away with her boyfriend made Sam revise his plan—her happiness mattered more.

She hated that she still loved him. She hated that she secretly held out hope that one day they would be together. She really wanted Sam to choose this school so they could be together. She took pride in being able to compartmentalize her feelings for Sam, but her body betrayed her. She hated that she couldn't control the physical reactions she had seeing him again and she hated that she couldn't control them in his presence. She was doing so well when she left Kentucky. She was the great pretender—smiling and jovial on the outside while she was slowly dying on the inside. Mostly her feelings of guilt confused her. Why was she guilty that Sam saw Shane? Why did she feel like she was cheating on Sam?

All that progress washed away by a two-minute conversation, Damn.


	3. Spring Break

Date: March 27, 2015  
Location: Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Mercedes stood in the lobby of the beach house she shared with friends for spring break with a genuine smile on her face. It has been a long time since she smiled and as much as she hated to admit it, her roommate was right when she dragged Mercedes along on the trip. She needed to unwind, and this was the first time she relaxed since she had that big fight with Shane a few weeks ago.

She found spring break traditions indulgent, opting to spend time volunteering or preparing for the final weeks in the semester. This was the first spring break she opted to go anywhere and she regretted spending her first two cooped up. She played volleyball on the beach and caught up on reading during the mornings, went shopping in the afternoons and went to parties at night.

On her last few hours before returning to the University of Virginia, Mercedes decided to do some last minute shopping. As she was opening the door to exit the hotel, she looked up and a familiar anxiety washed over her.

"Sam," as her breath hitched at the sight of her first love.

"Bambi!" Sam said exuberantly dropping his bags and giving her a warm hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm on spring break. I thought I'd get in some shopping before I had to leave."

"Oh. Sounds great. I'm just checking in. I can drop my bags off and join you. Do you want some company," Sam asked, itching to spend some time with her.

"I actually have a few hours before I have to leave, she said looking at her watch. "Tell you what, why don't you check in and I'll meet you at the café on the corner; we can catch up."

"I can meet you back here in 20 minutes," Sam said.

"Okay sounds like a plan," Mercedes said offering a wide smile. Her heart was beating so rapidly, she tried to focus on slowing it down. Same reaction every time she saw Sam. 

When Sam got to his room, he was nervous. He never thought he would see her again after that open house at the University of Virginia. He was so happy about the prospect of going to school with her and reclaiming what they once lost. Unfortunately, fate was not kind to him, as he suffered a career-ending ACL injury at his high school's championship game, causing the university to rescind their athletic scholarship offer. There was no way he could go to the school without it, so he decided to go to Obsidian University, a small liberal arts college 1 hour away from home. They offered a scholarship and with the amount he received in need-based financial aid, his tuition was affordable. This, however did not cure the hurt he felt at not being able to go to school with Mercedes. He saw the hope in her eyes when he mentioned he would be there, it was the same hope mirrored in his own. And for circumstances beyond his control, he disappointed her again.

After trying to freshen up, he gave himself a brief pep talk in the bathroom mirror before rushing back to the hotel lobby to meet Mercedes.

Mercedes tried to stick to her script. She didn't want to let him in. The last time she saw Sam, hearing him say they may be attending the same university, she questioned her relationship with Shane. He never knew how close she came to breaking up with him for the prospect of Sam. Sam not going to the University of Virginia was a sign—she resigned in her mind that she would probably never see him again and she had to fully move on for her own sanity. It wasn't easy. She ran into Drew frequently and tried to casually ask about their mutual "friend." Unfortunately, Drew and Sam hardly spoke and lost touch during their freshman year. All ties to Sam seemed to be severed and she couldn't lose herself in him again. It wouldn't be fair to Shane. Steeling her resolve she recited her mantra of her relationship with Sam being a summer fling before going downstairs to meet him for coffee.

After both Mercedes and Sam dropped their guards, they began to fall into easy conversation. Sam told her about his injury and how it had been a blessing in disguise. He told her about how he wanted to be a police officer and planned to get out of Kentucky after he graduated. She told him about how much she loved her University and was planning on interning at the Department of Education in D.C. They discussed their families, and their conversation became intimate when they discussed their summer together. Sam felt it was the best time to finally tell her how much he loved her.

"There's something I have been trying to tell you since I saw you in Virginia," Sam said as he grabbed her hand "I still love you and I want to be with you, Bambi. I am so sorry about Whitney she was just a mistake—the biggest mistake of my life." He was rubbing her knuckles with his thumb when he felt it—and when he did he dropped her hand. "What the hell is that thing on your hand," he asked as he pointed to the shiny bauble adorning her left ring finger.

"I'm engaged Sam."

"Why would you get engaged to someone you don't love?"

Mercedes was beyond mad—who did Sam think he was? "Look Sam, I don't know what your problem is or why you think you know me so well after dating me for six weeks, which by the way wasn't that important to you seeing that it took a few weeks for you to find someone else, but you really need to get over yourself."

"I know you Mercedes. I know you secretly love romantic comedies, I know every time you sing you pretend you're in an arena singing to thousands, and I know the look you have when you are in love with someone. You don't love Shane a fraction as much as you love me. You're scared so you're settling. How about I make you a deal—I'll get over myself long before you ever get over me!"

"This was a bad idea."

"Yeah this was a bad idea," Sam said angrily echoing her words.

"I thought we could at least be civilized adults but that'll never happen, I'm just going to go," Mercedes said as she stood to leave.

"Yeah, Mercedes go and run away again. That's what you do when things get difficult, that's what you do when things aren't perfect," he said running after her.

She was halfway down the block when she whipped back around. Sam was momentarily startled when he saw her face and tried to brace himself, but he was fueled by his own anger and fear.

"What did you just say to me? I run away when things get difficult? Well, at least I don't jump on the first warm body I saw! I went to Kentucky so I could be with you, you're the one who ran away. You were so disgusting and pathetic—you couldn't wait a month, but we were supposed to plan a future together? That's a great foundation! We were teenagers, our thing ran its course. It was a summer fling, Sam, get over it. How could we plan for a future after six weeks? That's irrational!"

"Well, love is irrational, it's messy, it's reckless and it won't fit in a pretty little box wrapped up in a neat little bow. You would know that if you stopped punishing me with Shane and forgave me long enough to recognize your future is staring you in the face! I'm never going to stop, Bambi. You're going to know for the rest of your life that there's someone out there that loves you more than who you're settling for!"

She shook her hand with the engagement ring and wildly pointed to the ring with her other hand. "Hello Sam, do you not see this ring on my finger? It's the only future staring me in the face. Shane gives me the one thing you never could—stability."

At her words, Sam's heart broke a little more. He was always afraid he couldn't provide for her. He felt like she was confirming every fear he ever had about their relationship.

"I never have to worry about Shane breaking my heart," Mercedes said immediately covering her mouth hoping the words would return there.

"Stop being so stubborn Bambi, you're going to break three hearts."

"I'm not being stubborn, I'm being practical. How about you do me favor, if you ever see me again, pretend we're strangers." Mercedes saw Shane walking towards her in the distance and walked towards him, turning around slightly and parting with "Goodbye, Sam."

Sam was spent, he laid his soul bare and she still rejected him. She even downplayed their relationship calling it a fling. She was content to live in misery and by doing so was condemning him and Shane there too. He couldn't take watching her walk away from him again and decided this was the last time she could have any effect on him. He was going to move on—he had to if he wanted to survive. He whispered "Goodbye Bambi," as he watched her leave him again.


	4. California Hospital

June 13, 2018

Long Beach California

Long Beach Hospital

* * *

 

Mercedes stood at the entranceway to the hospital in a panic. Her day was an already a whirlwind of emotions, and it felt like her night was going to be the same. She began the day preparing for her afternoon interview at the Long Beach School District. She was a bundle of nerves—she found out quickly last year that a Master's Degree in Educational Policy didn't guarantee employment, and spent six months in D.C. on a fellowship with a non-profit education research organization but her money was running out and her student loans, rent, and other bills were coming in. She knew she had to make a move and she was adamant she wasn't going back home. Her parents smug "I knew you couldn't do this without us" faces were at home as was Shane's "I knew you'd come back to me" attitude. Plus she felt she exhausted every good thing Lima had to offer her after high school graduation.

She began her job search nationwide, but pinpointed Long Beach California because her brother lived there. After her failed engagement with Shane last year, who forced her into an ultimatum to pick a wedding date or call everything off, she realized how much she needed family around. Calling off the engagement caused a little rift in her relationship with her parents, as they already began to look at Shane as their son, but they were understanding and supportive of her decision to break things off. She didn't want to tell them the real reason why she decided to break it off. After Shane graduated from Ohio State, he became one of the assistant coaches and wanted to start settling down. Mercedes was beginning graduate school and wanted to focus on the career she hadn't started yet before getting married. Shane was understanding at forst, but began to grow annoyed and offended that she didn't want to marry him after he graduated. She came to the conclusion that she spent her whole life doing the safe thing. In fact there were only two times when she deviated from the safe route—her relationship with Sam and attending the University of Virginia, both decisions despite the heartache and hard work they caused made her grow.

Her relationship with Shane was like an oversized shirt—comfortable but ill-fitting. She always chose comfort, and she realized that the only way for her to grow was to step out of her comfort zone. Armed with her new mantra to try new things, she called her brother and asked if she could stay with him for a few days while interviewing.

She'd practiced all morning with flash cards happily being quizzed by her very pregnant sister-in-law, Naomi. "You know what's a good reason to move out here," Naomi asked after declaring Mercedes didn't need to prepare anymore.

"What," Mercedes said, playfully rolling her eyes secretly dreading what she was going to say.

"There are so may single young professional men in this area. I know a ton and I would be happy to hook you up."

"After being in a relationship for six years, I'm very excited to not be attached to anyone" ( _anyone except Sam, that is_ ).

"Suit yourself," Naomi said as she shrugged. "Just let me know if you change your mind"

"Thanks, I won't, but thanks. I better go now. Wish me luck."

"Good Luck," Naomi replied, "even though you don't need it."

After her interview, Mercedes was excited to tell Naomi how it went, but before she could call, she got a message from her brother that Naomi went into labor early and was rushed to the hospital.

That's how she came to be standing at the hospital desk asking where the maternity ward was and which room Naomi was in. When she told the security officer her name so she could get a visitor's pass, a nurse frantically grabbed her wrist.

"Mercedes Jones," the nurse asked.

"Yes"

"Oh, my. I didn't think you existed! I am so happy to have found you. My patient has a high fever and kept going on about a Mercedes Jones. Even asked that I find you. I can't believe you're here."

Her heart stopped. Mercedes was worried that Naomi was in worse shape than her brother mentioned. The nurse looked panicked, which made Mercedes panic too. Her mind flooded with her conversation with Naomi this morning. Was she really that focused on the interview she missed that something was wrong with her sister-in-law? The nurse dragged Mercedes to the third floor, away from the maternity ward, and towards the ICU. Every step Mercedes took felt heavy, as she played a thousand scenarios in her mind.

"What happened," Mercedes asked, afraid of the answer.

"The patient had flu like symptoms that went untreated for weeks which caused pneumonia and registered a fever of 105 when forst admitted, causing excessive sweating, loss of consciousness, and delirium. They have been mumbling your name for the past few hours and asked me to find you. I honestly had no idea where to look. I am so glad you were coming to visit them."

Mercedes was confused. Something didn't add up. Naomi didn't look sick and her brother said nothing about the flu, besides with her being pregnant, Mercedes couldn't imagine any illness going untreated for weeks. She was beginning to think the nurse had the wrong Mercedes Jones until she stopped in front of the room and saw him. She let out a pained gasp at the sight of him. Her Sam was lying in a hospital bed, pale and mumbling something. He was sweating profusely, but his teeth were chattering. Every so often he would cough painfully, and she would hear the fluid in his chest. Her eyes instantly began to water at the thought of Sam being in such pain.

She stepped in front of him and offered him her shaky hand. He must have had a moment of lucidness because as soon as she grabbed his hand he turned toward her and smiled.

"Mercedes, my angel, you came back."

"I'm here Sam," she said stroking his cheek.

"I'll leave you two alone," the nurse said. "If he needs anything my name is Sandra and my number's on the board. Please don't hesitate to call."

Never taking her sight off of Sam, she whispered a thank you before pulling up a chair to his bedside.

"What happened baby," Mercedes asked.

"Bambi, Bambi, Bambi" he whispered, a tear escaping his eyes. "I never thought I would see you again. I love you more than anything, Mercedes. Please don't leave me. I can't take it if you leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere," Mercedes said holding his hand tighter.

"I'm so sorry Bambi, you were right. I only want you happy. If marrying Shane makes you happy, so be it. I lost my chance when you saw Whitney back in Kentucky. The better man won out. I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"Sam none of that matters now," she said smiling, wiping his tear away. "Please focus on yourself and getting better."

"I can't Bambi, I can't. I have to tell you something. Please look in my pocket," he said pointing to his folded pants on a chair in the room. She obliged and pulled out a ring box.

"Sam," she said warily.

"I carry this everywhere I go. I promised myself that if I ever saw you again I would propose and we would have the life we should. I love you so much Bambi, my heart aches every day it's been away from you. Please Mercedes, please—"

He briefly slipped back out of consciousness, failing to remember what he was about to ask her when he woke up smiling back at her. Sam wasn't sure if he was dreaming or if he had died but decided to go with it.

Mercedes stared down at the ring in her hand. That ring held more power and promise than any she had ever seen before. If he had asked her she would have said yes, and that scared the hell out of her.

"Bambi can you do me a favor"

"Anything"

"Can you sing to me?"

"Of course," she said smiling at him adoringly.

She realized a long time ago, that lack of communication and fear of the unknown put up unnecessary barriers between them. Making a decision to step out of her comfort zone, she was going to sing the lyrics she couldn't convey with words.

She sung low and clear hoping he knew why she chose this particular song

 _You think I'd leave your side baby_  
You know me better than that  
You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees  
I wouldn't do that

She wanted him to know she would always be there for him, no matter what he did or how she tried to push him away. They were bound to each other.

_I'll tell you you're right when you want  
And if only you could see into me_

_Oh when you're cold, I'll be there_  
_Hold you tight to me_

She picked up the rag next to his nightstand and wiped his face gingerly, she whispered the next line in his ear like a sweet serenade.

 _When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in_  
_I will show you, you're so much better than you know_  
_When you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again_  
_I will find you darling and I will bring you home_

 _And if you want to cry_  
_I am here to dry your eyes_  
_And in no time, you'll be fine_

She smiled as he touched her cheek wiping the tears that fell as she sung.

 _You think I'd leave your side baby_  
You know me better than that  
You think id leave you down when you're down on your knees  
I wouldn't do that

She took the hand he had on her cheek and moved it to her chest, intertwining it with her own. She needed him to understand he not only had a special place in her heart, he had the only place there. She leaned down back to his ear and whispered the end of the song to him softly.

_I'll tell you you're right when you want  
And if only you could see into me_

_Oh when you're cold, I'll be there_  
_Hold you tight to me_  
_Oh when you're low_  
_I'll be there by your side baby_

 _Oh when you're cold, I'll be there_  
_Hold you tight to me_  
_Oh when you're low_  
_I'll be there by your side baby_

_\- Sade-By Your Side, Lovers Rock (2000)_

After the song, she watched Sam drift into sleep trying to fight it off for fear when he closed his eyes she would not be there. Staring into her beauty as she sang, he couldn't tear away from the light coming off of her. Sam was convinced she was every bit an angel.

She held his hand as he fell asleep pained that he was gravely sick. She spoke quietly as she watched his chest rise and fall.

"I need you to know that no matter the time, no matter the distance I will find you if you need me. You were right in South Carolina—you will always be it for me. I love you beyond understanding, so much so that it scares me but I'd rather be scared with you than lost without you."

She was focused so intently on him that she didn't hear the nurse come in.

"Sorry to interrupt, I need to check his vitals but from the looks of things, being near you has definitely improved his condition, his color is coming back."

"That's great. Is he in any pain? Is there anything I can do to make it better?"

Sandra smiled at her. "Just keep doing what you are. From the looks of things, that's the best medicine he could have. I'll be right back with his _other_ medicine."

When Mercedes heard the door open again, she assumed it was Sandra, but reality set in when she turned and saw a girl who looked to be about her age dramatically run to Sam.

"Oh Sammy bear, my poor baby," she said grabbing the hand Mercedes dropped when she saw the girl enter. "I was so worried. You look so much better than you did at my parent's house." The girl looked away from Sam to see a confused Mercedes looking at their interaction.

"I'm sorry, I am being so rude. I was just so worried. My name's Casey, I'm Sam's girlfriend," she said offering a warm smile and extending her hand. It took every ounce of strength Mercedes had to shake the girl's hand but Casey was so sickeningly sweet, she pushed aside the urge to punch her in the face and focused on introducing herself. "Mercedes, I'm an old friend. Nice to meet you," she responded with a warm smile of her own.

Of course, Sam was with someone, but hearing why he was in the hospital was almost too much. Sam met Casey's parents? That sounded very serious. Maybe he was confused when he told her about the ring—maybe he was carrying the ring for Casey. That sounded more likely than him carrying a ring around for a girl he may never see—a girl who may be married the next time he saw her, a girl who told him to ignore her if he ever saw her again. No wonder he moved on, she practically flung Casey to him, and Casey seemed to be a nice, uncomplicated girl who really cared for him. She saw for herself that he was doing okay and now it was time to bow out gracefully. Hopefully, he could have some peace in his relationship.

"Casey, I'm going to go check on someone else here. I'll be back to check on him a little later. Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you."

"Thank you, Mercedes, you are such a great friend. I'll be sure to relay the message to Sam once he wakes up. Thank you so much for visiting him. I'll be sure he's well taken care of."

Casey was many things, but stupid was not one of them. She saw how affectionately Mercedes spoke of Sam, and she could not shake the horrible feeling Mercedes was a threat. Despite people often mistaking her kindness for weakness, Casey was a master in the Art of War. She would show Mercedes respect and make it her mission to ensure that Sam and Mercedes would never see each other. Casey saw Mercedes as the enemy, Sam had never mentioned her, but she couldn't shake the feeling Mercedes was a part the reason he never fully opened up to her.

When Sandra returned, the nurse confirmed Casey's suspicions. "Are you a friend of the couple," Sandra asked politely.

"No," Casey said as her smile faltered. "Sam's my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend," Sandra repeated confused. "Oh, I'm sorry. Mr. Evans said someone else was his fiancée. Maybe he was confused."

"He has been getting confused lately. The girl that was in here before, Mercedes Jones? Sam was very agitated when he woke up and found out she was visiting him. He asked that she not be allowed to see him. I saw in the Patient's rights information he was allowed to do that. I'm sure he just got a little worked up and she didn't help matters. It would help his recovery if they could sort things after when he leaves."

"Well he didn't seem agitated when she was visiting him before," Sandra said accusingly, "but if that's what he wants I will inform the other nurses and she can see him when he gets out, which according to his vitals will be soon."

After spending a few hours with Naomi gushing over her new nephew, she went back to check on Sam as promised. She smiled and waved at Sandra when she saw her, and Sandra looked uncomfortable.

"Ms. Jones? I am sorry but Mr. Evans has requested not to allow you visitation. I am going to have to ask you to respect his wishes," Sandra said as she patted Mercedes shoulder in apologetically.

"Oh okay. If that's what Sam wants," Mercedes said struggling to keep tears at bay. "I'm sorry for any trouble I may have caused. Thank you for everything you've done for him. It was really nice meeting you." She abruptly left the hospital making her way to her brother's house.

Sandra's words stung more than any bullet ever could. He didn't want to see her? Maybe she came on too strong. Maybe he wasn't thinking clearly and he remembered their last words in South Carolina. Maybe everything that happened was a big misunderstanding that she should try to fix or maybe their timing would always be off and she should finally and completely give up.


	5. Kentucky Convenience Store

September 13, 2018

Somewhere in Kentucky

* * *

 

In the past few months, Sam's life had drastically changed. After he got out of the hospital for pneumonia that he could have prevented, he tried to get back to his old routine, but he couldn't. Something inside of him had fundamentally changed. He tried to go back to his life only to realize it wasn't his life anymore. The things he settled for, the people he associated with, the things he desired all changed.

As he was slipping in and out of consciousness at the hospital he saw her. His angel, his Bambi was singing to him and taking care of him. He remembered felling warmth all over and was in awe of her ethereal beauty. She told him he was it for her and that she loved him. She gave him strength to fight and he took that strength and made a speedy recovery.

Six weeks after he returned from the hospital, he began to chart a course for a new life. He decided to move closer to home, with his family while getting his fledgling business off the ground. He decided to break up with Casey and focus on changing himself so he was a man worthy of the woman he loved.

All of his progress had stopped however when he received a knock at the door a few hours ago. Two words threatened to devastate all the new changes he was making.

He knew it was selfish and horrible, but for the first time in his life, he felt his perfect future slip away. He felt his house, wife and children slipping from his grasp. Their smiles and laughter faded and every dream he had with Mercedes shatter.

He had found out too late that Casey was a wolf in sheep's clothing. Many business deals fell through because of her manipulations. She was even eating through his savings—savings he established after his family moved to Kentucky. He wanted to make sure he could provide some kind of security if they fell on hard times again. He kept building it and working extra shifts. It wasn't much, just over 15,000, but it was his and was for his family. That was the final straw for him. The constant pressure she placed on him to get engaged, the way he settled for her companionship, the way she tried to mold and control him into what she wanted became too overwhelming and he couldn't pretend to be blind to it anymore.

That's how he came to be standing in a nearby convenience store looking for something to prove she was lying. He hoped with everything he had that she was—if it were true it would have devastated him to his core.

Mercedes was driving down the darkest most deserted road she had ever seen, and she silently hoped she would make it out this state alive. It didn't help hat the last time she passed through this state, her heart was filleted open by Sam and Whitney. This time her car had this weird odor like something inside was burning and she was panicked. She didn't want to pull over on this dark road—it looked like the perfect scene from a horror movie. She prayed she would see some civilization soon, or at least a light before her car broke down or worse.

She spent a few extra days in California trying to help her brother and Naomi with her nephew, Tyler. During that time she realized she didn't need to go to a new place to get out of her comfort zone, she needed to be more independent. Imposing on her brother and his new family in California wouldn't have helped her. She luckily got a job in D.C. as the Assistant Director of Music Education for their public schools. One of her old professors moved into the director of Music Education position in July and asked if she would be open to moving for this position.

Her boss told her of a mandatory Arts in Education symposium they had to attend in Knoxville, TN and she decided that instead of spending taxpayer dollars on getting a flight she would drive the 7.5 hours. The drive cost about $175 with gas and tolls but the flight would have cost $750.

She began full out panicking when she saw smoke coming from the hood of the car. Thankfully she finally saw some lights—there was a small shopping center with a 24-hour convenience store to her left that she happily pulled into. She immediately called AAA and they told her a tow truck can pick her up in 20 minutes and could come with a rental car. She parked and said a quick prayer before looking around. The area looked a little empty—there were about 6 six cars in the parking lot. Instead of sitting in her ticking time bomb of a car, she decided to go to the convenience store and wait until the rental car arrived.

She must have had a storm cloud over her head—literally—because as soon as she closed her door and locked it, it began to rain, more like pour. Always being prepared, she grabbed the umbrella from her back seat and walked to the store. She thought the day couldn't get worse, but it could and it did when her heel broke when she was walking. 'I knew this state was cursed' she thought as she tried to hobble to the convenience store before anything else happened.

Luckily, she had a few minutes left before the tow and rental would arrive. She was perusing the magazine rack walking aimlessly when she lifted her head for a second luckily avoiding bumping into someone. Stopping in her tracks, she was surprised to see who she almost bumped into. "Sam," she questioned.

Sam was so focused he hardly heard the voice calling his name. As he jerked his head up, he saw her "Mercedes" he smiled triumphantly noticing the ring she had on her finger the last time he saw her was non-existent.

"You look good," Mercedes said, pushing away the ache of his rejection at the hospital genuinely happy that he made a full recovery.

"Thanks. So do you. What have you been up to?" Sam asked, knowing that if Casey was telling the truth this may be the last conversation he ever has with Mercedes. Although he had so much to say, he couldn't find the words and was more than happy to just be in her presence.

"Well I'm working in D.C. and am driving through to Tennessee for a conference. How about you?"

"I moved back to Kentucky so I can be closer to my family"

"How are they," she asked. If he didn't bring up the hospital, neither was she.

"They're great. They talk about you from time to time."

She was so busy smiling and getting reacquainted with the contours of his face that she didn't look down at what was holding his attention earlier. She wished she didn't because she felt the finality of their relationship was in his hands. She suddenly wanted to get as far away from him as possible.

"I miss them. Listen it was really nice to see you again. I'm glad to see you're healthy again. I have to go." Suddenly the darkness and rain outside was more welcoming than being here. "Good luck with everything," she said pointing to the two pregnancy tests in his hand.

"Wait, Mercedes," he said wanting to run out of the store, but realizing it was probably for the best. If he was going to be a father and she lived in D.C. there was no way they could be together. He still wanted to see her one last time. Dropping the pregnancy tests he ran shouting her name but there were 3 cars in the lot that weren't his, and he knew in his soul she was gone.

He went back to his apartment with three different tests. When he turned the door he saw her standing in his living room staring at his pictures. He didn't want her face to be the first he saw when coming home. He knew it was wrong and selfish, but inwardly he prayed this was one of her schemes. "Take these," he said, as he shoved the tests in her face.

"Fine," she complied. "I just hope you treat me nicer when the baby arrives."

They sat in silence as they waited for the test results. He asked her to take three to make sure the reading was correct.

"Look, Sam," Casey started trying to broker a truce. "I know what happened between us was all my fault and I'm sorry, but this is just cruel—"

"Cut the bullshit Casey," Sam yelled. "Right now I don't have anything to say to you until we get these results."

Never before had Sam felt utterly and completely hopeless. Even when he lived in that crammed motel, he always was hopeful things would get better. He didn't see this situation ever getting better. He hated how Casey waved the positive results in his face like some sort of trophy. He hated everything about this woman. He hated her condescending smirk. He hated her smug grin. Mostly he hated himself and how he allowed their train wreck of a relationship to continue. He hated that he was going to bring a child into this world and had no kind words for the baby's mother. He hated that this meant he would never be reunited with the love of his life and have the family he always dreamed of. He went into his room, staring intently at the ring meant for Mercedes before throwing it across the room. She was no longer his and there was never going to be the promise of a future with her. Despite his feelings about Casey and his love for Mercedes, he knew that this baby deserved all of him and this baby would always be put first.


	6. D.C.

March 23, 2019

* * *

 

Driving towards D.C. Sam was certain of two things: (1) he would always love Mercedes Jones, and (2) he would do everything in his power to get her back. He drove with the single purpose of getting to Mercedes. He had to see her and every mile brought him closer. As he drove, he began to reflect on the past few months. Sam should have asked for a paternity test instead of a pregnancy test so he didn't spend the last six months getting attached to a child that wasn't his. He didn't believe her when she told him the baby wasn't his until he saw the results of the amnio procedure she secretly had.

FLASHBACK

March 23, 2019

Sam and Casey's Apartment

Louisville, Kentucky

"I can't do this anymore," a very pregnant and hormonal Casey said as she looked at Sam smiling with a bag of her favorite organic fruits.

"Do what," Sam asked clearly puzzled.

Her pregnancy had been difficult, and it was all her fault. Since she was extremely stressed her doctors monitored her to make sure her newly acquired high blood pressure was under control. She got constant headaches and began to grind her teeth at night. She tried everything to alleviate her stress, but nothing worked. Meditation, yoga, counseling—nothing was making the guilt go away or the stress manageable. What made it worse was that despite Sam hating her guts, he was extremely supportive and cooperative. He went with her to every visit, bought every book, and held her hand when she needed assurance. Finally she was going to do the only thing she didn't try—tell the truth.

"Danielle is not your baby," she said as tears welled in her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I really wish she was."

"What the hell are you talking about Casey," Sam said intensely.

"I-I knew she wasn't when the doctors told me I was 6 weeks pregnant and not the two months it would take for her to be yours. I had the test done to be sure. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I knew I would have to do this by myself. I couldn't do that." She stepped forward trying to reach out for him. He instinctively took a large step back. Looking into his darkened eyes she was actually afraid he would harm her.

Sam began pacing. He couldn't see straight. He was  _fuming_ at Casey's confession. He held the results in his hand reading and rereading them trying to make sense of it all. "I knew you were cold and manipulative, but I never knew you could be so EVIL. What the hell is wrong with me? What did I ever see in you? You know what," he said raising his voice. "I had a feeling that baby wasn't mine. I didn't feel a connection to her for the first couple of months. I actually felt guilty and tried to do everything I could for you, even though I made it clear that I hate you. You let me get attached to a baby that wasn't mine because you were afraid, what kind of person does that?"

"I know, I am so sorry, but there's more."

"I don't want to hear anymore. Pack your shit and get out of my apartment."

"No," she said grabbing his arm and flinching when he moved away from her. "You need to hear this."

"Mercedes Jones came to visit you when you were in the hospital in California," she spilled out of her mouth knowing that the only way she would find peace would be to make a full confession. Sam began to take in harsh breaths, flaring his nostrils and clenching his jaw. "She looked at you liked you held her whole world, like you were her only reason for being. That scared the shit out of me. I realized I would lose you, well that I never had you. Even when she said she was an old friend, I knew she was more." Casey sat down emotionally exhausted, as she covered her face with her hands and sighed before continuing. "I was threatened so I told the nurse you asked that she not come to visit you because it made you upset. I wish I could do it—"

Sam lurked over to her with a menacing face "Shut the hell up," he screamed. He knew he felt her presence there, but thought he was hallucinating. Why would Mercedes be at a random hospital in Long Beach anyway? His mind was becoming saturated with their last conversation and a smile formed on his face. Despite all the words they said to each other in Myrtle Beach, Mercedes still found him when he needed her. Watching Casey sob was becoming annoying. Walking past her he went into the bedroom they shared and got Mercedes' ring from the box he hid it in. He then shoved some of his things in a suitcase and walked towards the door.

"Sam," Casey said looking up for the first time since she sat down. "I'm sorry".

Sam nodded wordlessly to her as he proceeded to leave the apartment. Without hesitation he flung the suitcase in the back of the truck, found directions on his phone, and began driving towards D.C.

END OF FLASHBACK

He was on an adrenaline high, driving in her direction before realizing he had no idea where she was living or if she even still lived in D.C. He also realized he planned on proposing without her father's permission. He pulled into a rest area and took a deep breath, hoping against hope that the Jones did not change their phone number.

His heart was pounding as he waited for someone to pick up the phone.

"Hello," he heard Mr. Jones gruff voice pick up the phone.

"Mr. Jones. This is Sam Evans. I know it's been a while and I'm sorry for disturbing you, but I have to talk you about something and it can't wait."

"Out with it," Mr. Jones answered impatiently.

"Sir I love Mercedes with everything in me. She has been my saving grace more times than I can count. I would like to ask your permission to ask for her hand in marriage."

The silence on the phone was deafening as Sam waited for Mr. Jones' response.

His heart dropped when he heard the loud piercing sound of laughter on the other end of the phone.

"You always were seven types of crazy boy, I'll give you that. You want to marry my baby girl even though you haven't been together in over seven years? You're not even the same people you were when you were in a relationship." He then cleared his throat and spoke softly into the phone. "You know, if you were anyone else I would have already hung up the phone. She doesn't talk about it much, but I know you're the reason she didn't go through with marrying Shane. Baby girl is still nursing a broken heart the size of Texas, and I think you're the only one who can mend it. You have my permission to ask for her hand, but know this, if you break her heart again I will break your legs."

Despite the seriousness of the threat, Sam couldn't help but smile. "Thank you so much sir, you won't regret this. I promise I will do everything in my power to make your daughter feel cherished everyday."

"Good luck boy, you're going to need it. You think convincing me was hard, just wait until you ask Mercedes."

Sam thanked Mr. Jones again as he gave Sam Mercedes' address in D.C. It felt like for once, everything was falling into place. A sense of relief washed over him. He knew he would have trouble convincing Mercedes, but he knew he could.

His broken radio, which usually was only full of static, was continuously scanning for stations and finally got reception on one station. He smiled at the song that played. He tapped his hands on the steering wheel to the beat, belting out the lyrics that held the story of his love.

 _I've been loving you too long to stop now_  
There were time and you want to be free  
My love is growing stronger, as you become a habit to me

He reminisced about the summer they shared together _,_ and how scary it was that he fell utterly and completely for Mercedes. He remembered the ache he felt every time he was separated from her and every time he watched her walk away.

 _Oh I've been loving you a little too long_  
I don't wanna stop now, oh  
With you my life,  
Has been so wonderful  
I can't stop now

He remembered staring at her while they gazed at the stars, or laughing with her when they had dance-offs and cook-offs, which she always won. He remembered holding her when she told him about her Grandmother's death and crying with her when he told her he had to move.

 _There were times and your love is growing cold_  
My love is growing stronger as our affair [affair] grows old  
I've been loving you a little too long, long,  
I don't want to stop now  
oh, oh, oh  
I've been loving you a little bit too long  
I don't wanna stop now  
No, no, no

He remembered clutching his chest as she walked away from him in Virginia and Myrtle Beach. He remembered watching her drive away from him in Kentucky. He remembered feeling incomplete and hollow at the prospect of never seeing her again a few months ago at that convenience store.

Don't make me stop now  
No baby  
I'm down on my knees Please, don't make me stop now  
I love you, I love you,  
I love you with all of my heart  
And I can't stop now  
Don't make me stop now  
Please, please don't make me stop now  
Good god almighty I love you  
I love you, I love you, I love you  
I love you, I love you  
I love you in so many different ways...  
I love you in so many different ways...

_I've Been Loving You Too Long_

_Written by Jerry Butler & Otis Redding_

He went back to their last argument in Myrtle Beach. How he begged her to give Shane his ring back. How he told her she was breaking three hearts. How he wished he told her he'd never stop loving her. Then he smiled at the hope she constantly brought him, the confidence she always gave him and the promise their future always held. He kept repeating the song in his mind, turning the radio off as he got closer to her apartment.

An hour away in D.C. Mercedes was mumbling, a nervous habit of hers, trying to mentally prepare herself for her blind date. Despite doing well in her new position, Naomi had been hounding her for weeks about her non-existent dating life. She would say "Sweetheart, it's virtually impossible to not find someone in D.C., are you even looking?" and "I know you're focused on your career but damn Mercedes could you at least try to get a man?" She would try her "subtle" attempts to persuade Mercedes to find someone, but a few weeks ago, bluntly told her, "Because I love you and I don't want you to be the lonely cat lady who knits sweaters for her strays I set you up with a friend who would like to take you on a date. Trust, you will love him." "No" was Mercedes response and she kept repeating it until Naomi wore her down last week. What harm could going out do? She wasn't promised to anyone and it made no sense that her last relationship was 3 years ago.

It was time to let go of the dream and find a new one. Besides, if she hated him, she could hold it over Naomi's head forever, and at least she got to meet someone new. She knew, although she loathed admitting it to herself that if she started dating it was really over with Sam. Of course, mentally she knew it had been over for eight years, but emotionally she clung to their memories and the hope they would find each other. Even though seeing Sam with a pregnancy test in his hands kind of put the nail in the coffin for any reconciliation, going out with someone else was the first step she took since dating Shane to actively erase Sam from her heart. She gave herself an internal pep talk reminding herself that the pull she felt towards him was nostalgia and because he was her first love. To harbor any feelings towards him after all this time when he had clearly moved on would be idiotic and irrational. She reminded herself that Garrison may turn out to be a great guy and at the very least, she may make a new friend. She looked over and saw he would be meeting her in 20 minutes and ran to the bathroom to put the finishing touches on her makeup.

Walking up to her apartment a rush of nervousness came over him. He thought back to the first time he knew she was it for him as he prepared to see her again.

FLASHBACK

June 16, 2011

Lima Wash and Fold Laundromat

Lima, Ohio

Sam asked Mercedes to go with him to the Laundromat because he never washed clothes before and he wanted to spend as much time as he could with her. Although they were together just a little over a month he had fallen for her deeply and was falling deeper by the day. He loved everything about her—the way she always put others first, the way her nose scrunched up when she laughed, the way her eyes lit up when she was passionate about something, and the way she smiled at him like he was the most important thing in the world. He knew it was too early in the relationship and he had a tendency to be impulsive but he wanted her to know he loves her and trying to deny his feelings and be rational was actually causing him pain.

"Thanks for doing this with me Bambi," he said smiling as she shook her head at how he sorted the clothes. "As you can see I really needed the help."

"I can see that," she said raising an eyebrow. "You know you have to separate colors too so dark colors don't rub off on lighter ones."

"So now instead of throwing everything together, I have to think about where they'll go?"

"Yeah," she said. "But don't worry. It doesn't take too long."

They talked as they watched the clothes go around the washers and put them in the dryer.

"How's it going," she asked as she was folding the clothes that she took out the dryer.

"Great Bambi. Look I even did the whites by myself," he said proudly taking them out of the dryer. "So, how'd I do?"

"Um Sam," she said trying not to laugh.

"Yeah?"

"I don't think Stevie's going to like wearing a pink transformers tee," she said holding the shirt up and cackling. "I found the culprit," she said sifting through the whites to find a red sock.

"Shit," he yelled. "Stevie's going to hate me. I can't believe I couldn't even wash and dry a load of clothes. I'm such an idiot. We already have so little and I go and ruin that too."

Mercedes stopped smiling when she saw how Sam was reacting. Reaching for his arm, she turned him around so he could face her. "Hey," she said softly. "You're not an idiot, you made a mistake, one that millions of people have made before. I once shrunk five of my father's button down shirts then he told me they were dry clean only. I was so embarrassed and he was so mad he never let me touch his clothes again. You didn't ruin anything, baby. Luckily your problem has a simple solution. I knew we were washing clothes so I brought this just in case we needed it," she said holding up a bottle of color remover.

He grabbed her by the waist and grinned down at her. In Sam's eyes Mercedes was perfect, and hearing her story made him feel better. "You're amazing Bambi. You always know how to make me feel better. I love you."

He panicked after the words left his mouth. He wanted to wait to tell her, he didn't want to scare her with the intensity of his emotions so early in the relationship.

She gasped softly cupping his cheek. "I love you too," she said dropping the bottle and throwing her arms around his neck.

"Yeah," he asked.

"Yeah," she said as she nodded beaming up at him.

He lifted her up and spun her around, sealing their declaration with a soul-searing kiss.

END OF FLASHBACK

He stood in front of her door and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans before taking a deep breath and knocking on her door.

When she heard knocking on the door she looked at the time. 'He's early' she thought to herself before trying to answer the door. She swung open the door and her breath caught in her throat. Sam was standing at her door, her Sam looking sexy and gorgeous and happy to see her. It wasn't fair.

All the words Sam rehearsed on the drive up escaped him when he was face-to-face with her.

"Sam," she managed to strangle out after a few minutes of awkward silence. "What are you doing here?"

"Bambi," he whispered her nickname affectionately before throwing caution to the wind and kissing her.

Mercedes kissed him back just as fiercely, instinctively lacing her fingers through his hair before she pulled back suddenly. "What are you doing Sam? What about Casey? Why are you here? You know what, it doesn't matter, get out," she said pushing him and closing the door in his face.

"Bambi will you listen to me," he shouted in the hall. Pressing his forehead to the door in frustration he told her "There is no Casey. I'm here to see you. I need you."

He waited a few minutes before she slowly opened the door again gesturing for him to enter. She sent a text to Garrison telling him she had to cancel their date due to an emergency.

"What are you talking about? There was a Casey when I saw you at the store, pregnancy test in hand and when I poured my heart to you before you kicked me out of your hospital room. Now you need me? Well, for the first time in a long time I don't need you!"

Sam took a seat on her sofa and patted the seat next to him. "Sit down, we have some things to resolve." She eyed him suspiciously before sitting down next to him. "I didn't know you were there at the hospital. I was so out of it, I thought I was in heaven when you were singing. If I had known you were there, I would have  _never_ refused to see you. Casey felt threatened by us so she told the nurse I didn't want to see you. Bambi, everything I said in that hospital room I meant," he said holding the ring box in his pocket thinking if it was the right time to propose.

"But why would she tell the truth now? What's in it for her?" Mercedes asked.

"Peace of mind, I guess," he said taking his hand out of his pocket. "Lying was making her sick. Trying to be a decent human being by finally telling the truth was the only way she could heal herself. "

She knew the situation wasn't funny, but she began to laugh. When she saw the look he was giving her she said "Sorry, sorry, It's just…you sure can pick em!"

"Yeah," he said ruefully. "There was no way I could have the perfect girl so anyone else would have paled in comparison anyway," he said grabbing her hands.

"Saaammm—"

"No Mercedes you need to listen to me. I love you. All I want is to be with you and make you happy. All I have ever wanted is to love and protect you and I can't go on living another day, barely existing when I could be alive with you."

"Maybe the reason we never really moved on was because we weren't meant to. I tried, and I failed miserably. I don't want to try anymore. I just want to be with you."

She pulled him into another kiss before slowly pulling away. "Wait, just so we're clear, there's no girlfriend?

"No. No girlfriend," he said kissing her forehead. "No boyfriend," he asked.

"No, no boyfriend. No fiancée," she countered.

"I should be asking you that  _Miss_  Jones." He smirked at her raised eyebrow. "No, no fiancée…yet"

"What does that mean?"

"It means I meant what I said in the hospital about carrying around your ring so if I ever saw you again, I would be ready to make you mine. There's no doubt in my mind that we belong together, and I don't want to lose any more time. You are my safe haven—the only thing that ever made sense to me was having you in my arms. Will you marry me?"

"Baby, I love you. Nothing would make me happier than being your wife, but this is moving kind of fast. I mean today you had a girlfriend and a baby. I think we should ease back into this. We're not the same people we were when we were together before. What if we revisit marriage in six months after we get reacquainted?"

"Deal, but you have to promise me something."

"Anything"

"That this doesn't change anything and we move forward in our relationship."

"Sam? What about your job? Are you planning to move here?"

"I'm not leaving you. I can do my job anywhere."

"Well, why don't you move in here?"

"Yeah? I'd love to."

"Well I love you, Sam Evans," she said planting a kiss on his lips. She was finally home.

"I love you, Mercedes Jones," he said smiling and holding her in his arms. His world finally made sense again.


	7. Epilogue

_Ten Years Later_

Trudging up her driveway, Mercedes realized the effects of the past week were finally catching up to her. Work was chaotic—her mentor was retiring and named her as his successor. She spent the week transitioning his work over and establishing herself as the face of Music curriculum in the DC public school system. Before taking the position, she discussed the pros and cons of taking on such a demanding job with her husband, who thoroughly supported her decision to take the job. It was 7pm and all she could think of doing was getting home to her family.

She was going to have to get used to late evenings and early mornings away from the ones she loved. Although the idea was making her heart ache and guilt churn in her stomach, their blessing and the impact she could have on countless children propelled her to make the decision. She wasn't sure how long she could bear being away, but she was going to push herself—this was the exact position she wanted as a teenager contemplating her choice of college. It's what she told the admissions counselor in her secret meeting when she went to visit the campus and it's what propelled her through graduate school. Looking back she thought that was one of the darkest times in her life, but it actually defined her future and changed the way she looked at the past.

Mercedes smiled as she heard the stirring behind the door. Suddenly her aches and the grind of the day were long forgotten. "Mommy's here," she heard her baby Morgan shout. "Shh," she heard her son Emmanuel say. "You're going to ruin the surprise." Morgan responded with an adorable pout. "You're both going to ruin it," she heard her eldest Kayla say. Mercedes chuckled at her children. She felt blessed to have them and knew the jobs that held the most importance were being their mother and being her husband's wife. "Guys can we keep quiet for one minute?" Her heart swelled when she heard her husband's deep voice. It was the all too familiar quickening of her heart and pulse that signaled his voice to her soul. She couldn't imagine her life without her wonderful man. Together they had nine years of wedded bliss founded on complete trust, security and undeniable love. Her eyes began to water as she realized her life was so much more than she ever imagined. She slowly turned the key in the knob, partly because she wanted to give her children time to collect themselves and partly because she enjoyed making them wait a little longer.

She turned the knob and opened the door and heard her family yell "Surprise." She was quickly swept up in hugs and kisses from her children. Looking around the living room she saw her family diligently decorated with pictures, cars, food and a banner that read 'Congradulashuns on your new job Mommy' adorned with pictures of soccer balls and race cars (obviously Manny's doing). Morgan clung to her mother and Mercedes swiped her honey colored hair away from her daughter's face. When she stood up she was greeted with the familiar sight of the man she loved. Sam still managed to take her breath away. He looked a little older but his eyes were always smiling-the same as they had been in high school. She was so thankful that she had him to navigate through life. Sam was the only husband she wanted and the only father for her children she could imagine. "Hey Bambi," he greeted.

"Hey baby" she cupped his cheek and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

They laughed when they heard the chorus of "ewws" emitting from their children.

"Don't care," he shrugged. My house, my rules, my wife. He planted another kiss on her lips as his children groaned in disgust.

"Okay Sam, I think we should stop before we traumatize our children."

"Yeah," four-year-old Melody shouted from across the room covering her brown eyes. "Let's get this party started."

They ate and danced even having an impromptu dance contest, judged by Kayla, that Manny won. They then decided to play Twister in teams while Mercedes watched. She wondered how many more nights like these would happen once she was fully engrossed in her new duties. Knowing their bedtime was drawing near, Mercedes spent a little time with each of her children. She listened as her son told her of his soccer practice and smiled as his green eyes lit up just like his father's when he was excited about something. She gave him a hug and kissed the top of his head, ruffling his dark brown hair and promised to cheer the loudest at his upcoming game.

Kayla was telling her about her junior debaters team and how she was preparing for her mock debate. The eight-year-old was a perfect amalgamation of Sam and Mercedes—she had Sam's eye color and Mercedes' eye shape. She inherited Sam's lips and Mercedes' button nose. The girl had Mercedes drive and Sam's impulsive spirit.

"Mom, I'm so proud of you. I know you'll be great. Because of you we have violins at flutes at my school."

"Thanks Kay."

The girl hugged her mom and dad before heading up to her room.

Melody, who was getting a piggyback ride from her father, jumped off to hand Mercedes a picture she drew of her family. "Thanks Mel, I'll put this in my office" She gave the energetic girl a kiss. "It's time for bed," Sam said kissing the girl on her forehead. She nodded. "Go upstairs and brush your teeth. We'll be up in a few minutes to check up on you and say goodnight." The girl grumbled on her way up the stairs. "For the life of me I can't understand why she hates brushing her teeth." Sam chuckled and kissed his wife. "She'll thank us when she still has teeth at 30," Mercedes quipped. They cleaned up the mess in the living room and headed upstairs to say goodnight to their children.

Thoroughly spent, Mercedes collapsed on her bed but smiled when she felt the bed dip as Sam swung her legs on his lap massaging her feet. "What's on your mind honey?"

"What if I fail, Sam? What if I lose time with you and the kids? What will we do if my work starts interfering with you and the kids? I'll quit before I let that happen."

He set her feet down and placed them on the ground, which made her sit up. Kneeling beside her, he turned to look in her eyes. "Look at me. You know you're the center of my universe, right?"

"Yeah," she replied, barely above a whisper.

"You know being away from you all those years was torture, right?"

"Yeah."

"You know running into you without being able to touch you or hold you broke my heart all over again, right?" She nodded.

"You know I vowed to let you know how much you mean to mean every day I'm lucky enough that you're mine, right? As long as I have you, as long as I'm with you, we can work everything else out."

"I love you. So much. Thank you." She placed feather light kisses on his lips.

He intertwined their fingers. "I love you too Bambi. Always"

Lying down, Sam kissed affirmations into her skin as she soaked in all the love and comfort he provided.

 


End file.
